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留学在外 如何把握交往距离

2017-08-21 08:42:02   中国青年网

张慧若慢慢做到了入乡随俗,找到了让自己觉得舒服的交往距离。
图为张慧若(后排右四)和朋友在一起。

黄濛婷近照

海外学子留学在外,如何把握和朋友、同学之间的交往距离?中国学生喜欢抱团,外国学生喜欢独来独往……事实是这样的吗?

对交往距离认知不同

张惠若正在美国波莫纳学院留学。她对交往距离提出了自己的观点:“对我来说,和中美朋友相处,交往距离有别。这个区别主要在于中国人对友谊的独特性更看重一点。”她举了一个例子,在国内,如果两个人成为了很好的朋友,就会经常约出去一起玩、一起学习,二人会把这段友谊看作比较特别的一种关系。相对而言,美国人不太重视这种友谊的独特性。张惠若和美国朋友在一起吃饭时,随时都可能再加入这个美国朋友的另一个朋友,即使张惠若和那个人完全不认识。而和她一起吃饭的美国朋友及后加入的美国朋友都对此不以为然。

张惠若常常能感觉到国内外对朋友“独特性”的理解并不相同,这种理解上的差异在一开始并不会影响到两个人的友谊,但是随着友谊的继续,往往她认为和朋友的友谊超过了普通朋友,但对方有些行为会给她一种“我的朋友很多,你没什么特别”的感觉。这会让她有些伤感。

严馨佳在2012年去美国留学,在加州大学伯克利分校修了数学和环境经济双学位后,在哥伦比亚大学继续环境政策研究。谈及和外国友人的交往距离时,她表示在美国这个移民国家里,人们来自五湖四海,由于文化背景不同,对交往距离的认识和隐私的认知非常不同。所以,和朋友的交往形式也就多种多样。

如何选择看个人

大多数情况下,国内外朋友之间的交往并没有很大的区别。但是每个人认为的合适的交往距离都不一样,要根据个体的具体情况来把握尺度。有人处事比较独立,有人喜欢距离近些。

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