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孩子性格内向 到底是不是一种“病”?
2017-09-04 05:25:58 中国青年网
如何对过度内向的孩子进行干预?
上面已经谈到,“内向”与“外向”本无优劣之分,只要不“过度”,是不必强迫孩子去改变的。但是,现实生活中确实有部分孩子是过度内向的,这就需要人为介入了。那么,具体应该怎么去“干预”呢?
专家建议:如果孩子过度内向,比如“人际退缩”,是需要干预的。一般来讲,我们的干预要从两个方面入手:一是认知方面。比如孩子会非常在意外界对自己的看法,别人的任何一个反应,他都会联系到是否对自己有不良的印象或评价。因为,尽管孩子并没有直接和人交往,但他是在很细致地观察外界对他的反应的。这种就需要从认知上引导孩子慢慢体验、感悟:世界很大,每个人有各自的关注点,并不会随时都在你身上;第二,人无完人,不要害怕自己说不出话或别人的一时嘲笑,有可能别人的嘲笑只是表达友好交往的一种方式。二是从行为上,慢慢地引导、陪伴、训练孩子。可以先从虚拟的网络交际开始(前提是保证孩子的人身安全)。因为在虚拟空间,他会有一种安全感,然后再慢慢地把通过网络虚拟空间得来的成功的交往经验移植到现实生活中来。
对于未成年人,我们在干预的过程中,除了从认知和行为训练的角度之外,还有一个非常重要的是:他所信赖的亲人给予他的情感上的无条件支持。在亲子关系的导向中,家长其实占据比较重的分量,所以,家长对待孩子气质类型的态度和具体对待的方法、行为,会对孩子有很大影响。你要去接纳他,让他清楚地感觉到他的内向并不是他的罪过,因为很多内向都是先天决定的,也可能是后天的原因导致的,比如家庭的背景,父母的性格,父母的教养等。比如,高压型、专制型、冷漠型家长容易导致孩子内向;另外,孩子在婴幼儿、儿童时期与外界的交往和互动中,一些不愉快甚至痛苦的经历,也会导致内向。所以,内向不是孩子的错,更不是他的罪过。如果需要改变孩子,也应分析具体情况,再采取具体对策。
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