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留学在外 如何把握交往距离

2017-08-21 08:42:02   中国青年网

虽然在出国前,严馨佳就听说和外国人聊天时要避免谈一些宗教、政治等敏感话题。但是由于她所就读的大学和生活的城市比较开放,所以在这五年的留学生活中,她可以和朋友们畅所欲言,从个人生活到国家大事。在学校里,无论是学生还是教授,都会直接表达自己的观点。尽管在彼此观点冲突时,大家会“毫不留情”地激烈辩论,但还是会互相尊重。

黄濛婷在美国克莱蒙特麦肯纳学院读书。她发现,朋友不论国内国外,只要关系亲密,都会聊私人话题。在她就读的学校,有些教授也会请学生到家里吃饭。但黄濛婷无论是在国内还是在国外,都崇尚独立,比起交朋友,她更注重自己的生活。所以她不太喜欢和外国学生一起喝酒、聚会、蹦迪,也不会和好朋友聊太多私人话题。

入乡随俗有多难

在意大利实习期间,作为公司中少数亚洲女性之一,严馨佳感受到了外国朋友和她相处时表现出的“不一样”。一开始,朋友们认为东方女性大多比较保守,不愿意有肢体接触,所以不会对严馨佳行贴面礼。随着大家交往的增多,严馨佳和朋友对交往距离的认识慢慢趋于默契,于是行贴面礼也变得自然。

张惠若认为,她身边大多数美国学生交朋友是为了有社交生活:聚会、喝酒和玩耍。但是中国留学生之间的交往则是为了彼此成为很亲近的朋友。张惠若刚到美国与朋友交往时,这种差异令她不舒服。但理解并接受这种差异之后,她选择和美国人交往时开启他们的交往模式,和中国朋友交往时,还是维持自己原有的交往方式。“这样可以让自己处于一种比较轻松的交友状态。”

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