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面对节节攀高的教育成本 对父母“教育成本”的投入必不可少

2017-08-27 18:30:42   中国青年网

□ 代秋影

前几天打车,出租车的收音机播放的一条是关于“脑立方”的新闻——收费6.8万元的“超感心像力”“超感创作力”和“脑屏成像”系列培训课程,旨在两天内“打开右脑”,实现“蒙眼辨色”“七天成诗人”等“神童”目标。

司机是一位年轻父亲,听到这则新闻跟我谈起几天前同学聚会时谈及“教育成本”,焦点直聚司机一家。原因在于,司机虽是同学中收入最高的,但司机的妻子全职在家照顾两岁的孩子,而且二胎也即将出生,司机一家很快就要成为“二宝”家庭。作为家庭来说,司机一家的收入是最低的。同学在佩服司机一家“勇气”的同时,也表达了对他们在当前高涨的“教育成本”下养育两个孩子的忧虑。

对此,司机的态度很明确,他认为不存在“教育成本”的急剧上升,他坚信养育孩子最重要的是,父母愿意花时间和精力陪伴孩子。而其他同学对他的观点嗤之以鼻,大有“走着瞧”“的了然。

我们的交流围绕“教育成本”的话题展开。

全职妈妈养育孩子

“时间”和“陪伴”确实是养育孩子最为重要的两个关键词。但是,全职在家并非意味着有能力给孩子“高质量的陪伴”,这只能够保证有时间和孩子在一起。如果想达到“高质量的陪伴”,需要家人给予全职妈妈尽可能多的家务分担和情绪情感支持。因为,婴幼儿时期的孩子有强大的好奇心和探索欲。孩子喜欢“撕纸”游戏,喜欢“把桌子上的物品”推到地上体验空间感,喜欢“玩马桶”这个新奇玩具,喜欢自己探索和尝试各种尚在发展中的能力,如练习自己吃饭,虽然会吃得到处都是;喜欢锤子、螺丝刀、剪刀等各种尖锐的物器。

孩子这些探索的行为是成长的重要组成部分,也是其逻辑思维能力、表达能力、动手能力,以及家长特别重视的“专注力”形成的重要过程,所以保护和支持孩子的探索欲望和探索需求对于孩子的健康成长至关重要。但是,对于包揽大量家务活的全职妈妈来说,孩子的这些探索行为会制造大量的“家务活儿”,如果没有其他人分担家务事,为了减少工作量,为了“省事”,全职妈妈极有可能限制孩子的探索行为,想方设法减少因孩子四处探索而带来的各种“麻烦事”。

司机着实做得不错。他说只要在家,带孩子和家务活都由他做。每天早上,他4∶30起床,做好早饭、洗完孩子的衣服再出门上班。相信这样的支持和协助必能在很大程度上缓解全职妈妈的情绪焦虑和身体上的疲劳,而只有当妈妈有了高能量的状态,才有足够的心力支持孩子探索的需求,全身心地陪伴孩子。而不仅仅是在同一个时间段内,妈妈和孩子在同一个空间中生活,那只能叫“陪着”。

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