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老师给学生90度鞠躬,有礼还是失礼?
2017-09-06 08:36:57 中国青年网
苏州大学教授尤小立多年前讲过一句话:“师生关系如果进而异化成商家与消费者的关系,也许就不是学生起立,而是老师要主动起立向学生鞠躬致敬,口称‘欢迎来敝校消费知识’了。”现在竟然有了现实版本。
有家长表示,没配发孩子给老师回礼的照片,没作客观描述;确实,校方提供的多个监控视频显示,老师给学生鞠躬行礼过程中,学生也纷纷给老师鞠躬回礼,有样学样地也是把腰弯成90度;仅有少数才入学的一年级新生未能及时回礼。视频显示,也有家长现场引导孩子学“回礼”。家长们支持校方如此礼仪教育,其言下之意,无非是认同教师通过对师道尊严的牺牲,来言传身教,引导学生有样学样学礼貌。但是,即便如此,弯腰呈90度深鞠躬行礼,无论是老师之于学生,还是学生之于老师,在一般情况下而非特定场合,都是很不妥当的。
何谓“礼”?社会学家费孝通曾说:“礼是用来维持人和人的关系的”,“礼是按照仪式做的意思”,“礼是合适的路子,是经教化过程而成为主动性的服膺于传统的习惯”(《礼治秩序》)。家长把孩子送到学校接受教师的教育,传道授业解惑,培养成才,教师是握有教化权力的,所以,家长和学生才要对教师表达尊重之意。而孩子还都是些尚待教化的没有独立思考判断能力的无民事行为能力人,教师并无需对其表达尊敬之意。教师所要做的是对学生的关爱,悉心教导,以对孩子的成长、对孩子家长的托付负责。教师弯腰呈90度对学生行深鞠躬大礼,师道尊严就为之消解荡然无存了。
教导学生学礼貌,当然是教师职责和教育内容的一部分,但引导学生有样学样对教师动辄行弯腰呈90度深鞠躬大礼,完全没必要。“礼”本身也是随时代变迁而有形式上的变化的。日常路遇老师,上前热情问好打招呼、端正肃立致意、握手,等等,凡此都是行礼,并不必拘泥于鞠躬礼;即便鞠躬,弯腰15度也就够了,大致相当于古代的路遇老师端正肃立致意。我们念书时,学校同样教礼貌,我们遇到老师也都会问好,热情打招呼,表达尊重之意,本乎真诚、发自内心也就是了,双方都没人会觉得失礼。动辄要求学生弯腰呈90度行深鞠躬大礼,那也是不分场合,是另一种形式的不懂礼貌,只会把深鞠躬90度大礼庸俗化,消解其固有的仪式感、庄重感。 (江苏 于立生)
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