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做“手有余香”的陌生人(人民论坛)

2017-08-28 05:16:47   中国青年网

“湖上影子,惟长堤一痕、湖心亭一点、与余舟一芥,舟中人两三粒而已。”年少时读晚明小品《湖心亭看雪》,只偏爱“人鸟声俱绝”的遗世独立与洒脱。近日重读此文,体会到“焉得更有此人”的惊喜、“拉余同饮”的热情,方才知晓:真正让人着迷的不是孤独的雪景,而是在孤独中遇到相同雅趣的陌生人。

人的一生之中,总会或多或少地遇到陌生人。对陌生人的态度、与陌生人的距离,很大程度上界定着个体与世界的关系。纵观中国传统文化,既有“与人为善”的处世之道,也有“投我以木桃,报之以琼瑶”的礼尚往来,还有“同是天涯沦落人,相逢何必曾相识”的心意相通……凡此种种,都是与陌生人交往的准则,蕴藏着中国文化对和谐人际关系、乐观生活态度的价值追求。

但在现实中,陌生人之间并不总能奏响和谐的音符。常有人感慨诚信缺失、社会凶险、世态炎凉,笃信“不要随便与陌生人讲话”,心中藏着“不安全感”。对于来自陌生人的援手,不少人尚且抱着警惕、怀疑、拒绝的态度,不敢轻易接纳,更不必说冒着被欺骗、惹麻烦的风险去主动温暖他人。无论是“做邻居三年却互不相识”的尴尬,还是“老人摔倒却无人敢扶”的冷漠,都在一定程度上揭示出现代人之间愈加疏远的现状。而一旦不信任、不安全等心态传递扩散,就可能塑造出一个饱含疏离感的社会。

毋庸讳言,现代人的疏离感,部分源自被一些无良者欺骗、讹诈的经历与听闻,以致人们面对陌生人时,首先选择警惕与怀疑而不是选择信任。但从更宽泛的视野看,这种疏离感还有其深层次的社会根源。有学者曾用“技术隔离”来描述这一现状,比如互联网拉近了人们的“线上距离”,却也压缩了人们的“线下交集”;技术进步不断加深着社会专业化程度,反过来也加剧了信息的不对称,在人与人之间筑起不信任的高墙。除此之外,现代社会的形态和结构也快速变迁。从熟人社会到陌生人社会,从相对静止的结构到快速流动的社会,某种意义上,人与人之间的陌生感,是现代化、城镇化的副产品。因此,既不必过度反思人心,也无需刻意放大人与人之“远”。最重要的,当是透过社会运行的表象,去直面现实问题。

在人与人之间的疏离感出现之后,制度层面的建构当然是拉近彼此距离的有力基石。事实上制度层面也已经多有建构,比如《民法总则》规定,因自愿实施紧急救助行为造成受助人损害的,救助人不承担民事责任。这样的鼓励无疑能打消援助者的顾虑。惩恶扬善、激浊扬清,公正的法律能够激发更多人源自心底的善意。然而消除陌生与隔阂,也离不开以信任为基础的“交往文化”涵养。在社会环境日趋复杂的今天,不能苛求毫无保留地帮助别人,更不能完全否定戒备之心,但在“评估风险”“理性选择”之外,也该听听内心的声音,做一份“举手之劳”的善行。哪怕只是为他人递上一把伞、扶一下弹簧门、等一下电梯,也可能照亮一个心灵,为社会增添一份暖意。

“赠人玫瑰,手有余香。”无论是日常的一个微笑、一句问候,还是关键时刻的一声提醒、一次帮扶,坚定地对陌生人施以援手,一个人必会在心中体悟到助人为乐的深刻含义。对陌生人多一分善意,社会也将多一瓣心香。

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