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女人请拿出独立 男人请拿出担当
2017-08-25 07:56:22 中国青年网
记者黄亚婷
不只是爱情,更呼吁女性独立
新书中精心收录了张小娴为读者打造的独立女性宣言,“当青春和美貌渐渐离你而去,只有智慧与觉悟和你长相依伴,那才是女人真正需要的安全感,谁也拿不走。因为我爱自己如此之深,我决不肯跟一个笨男人共度春宵,更别说共度余生。”以及“过了三十岁也好,还没过三十岁也好,从爱爱情到爱自己,是多么漫长的路?却也是觉悟的路。我们依旧爱爱情,但是也懂得爱自己了。要是无法讨好全世界,那就首先讨好自己吧。别等憔悴了才知道要对自己好,讨自己欢心,永远不会太早和太迟”。这些金句,直戳女人心。
怎样算“像个男人”?有担当
书名《请至少爱一个像男人的男人》,出自书中的独立一篇。张小娴认为无论怎样,一个男人应该有担当。她在书里写道:“不要只爱一个好人,不要只爱一个优秀的男人,不要只爱一个有才华的男人,不要只爱一个有趣的男人,不要只爱一个条件很好的男人,不要只爱一个肯迁就你的男人,也不要只爱一个爱你和疼你的男人,请你一定爱一个有担当的男人。”
这种担当,也并不是说女人要依附男人,她的主张是,“女人无论年龄多大,心中都可以住一个需要被保护的小女孩,但也可以同时住一个能够面对一切的大男孩。”
拥有爱情,不等于必须走进婚姻
从1995年到现在,张小娴写了20多年的爱情,仍然不敢说自己看透了爱情,“没有一个人敢说自己对爱情大彻大悟”。写了20多年爱情,张小娴依然对爱情充满敬意和好奇,“爱情其实是一种人生的恩赐,并不是每个人都会遇到。爱情不光是靠缘分,还有很多个人可以努力的空间。得到爱情之后,维护也很重要。”
爱情和婚姻,在张小娴眼里并没有画上等号,这位“爱情导师”也没有走进婚姻,“现在社会跟以前不同,以前要有家庭、要有单位才有安全感,但是现在,女人在经济、人格上都可以很独立,我不觉得人必须要结婚,但我觉得爱情是这么美好的东西,值得追求和维护。我在爱情里懂很多,真的能让人看清自己,了解自己,拥有爱情是美好的。”
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