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坦诚沟通换位思考
2017-08-20 06:52:15 中国青年网
长春大爱心理咨询中心主任咨询师 尹航 长春晚报记者 刘冰
记者:气泡水的男朋友有自己的一套处世哲学,气泡水应该从哪几个方面与男朋友沟通?
尹航:物以类聚,人以群分,人们总是愿意和自己志趣相投的人在一起。看一个人的朋友,就能知道这个人是什么样的人。气泡水的男朋友帮兄弟打架和之前的多次打架,其实可以看出,遇到问题时,他主张的是以暴力解决问题,实在不可取。真正的讲哥们义气,是授人以鱼不如授人以渔,而不是哥们有困难就得借。如果那是一个火坑,这种情况下借出去的钱会让对方陷入更大的困境,并不是真正地帮助对方。她可以和男朋友分享自己对于金钱的观点,也包括日后结婚家里财政大权由谁来掌管等想法,尽可能在婚前把这些方面都谈透彻了,自己的底线是什么,什么是能容忍的什么是不能容忍的。
记者:气泡水的男朋友应该如何调整自己,随着身份角色的转换而转变?
尹航:日后结婚,他的生活中会多出一个身份叫丈夫,就意味着他要有更多的担当和责任,才能支撑起这个家,以后他还要保护照顾妻子和孩子,就意味着有些事情不可以像以前一样只考虑自己的需求,还要考虑妻子的感受。
婚姻表面上是两个人一路同行,实质上是两个家族的结合。他们的人生观世界观的碰撞,必然会带来摩擦口角。当冲突发生时,他要学会换位思考,更要立世,多些技能本领的学习。不要打架斗殴,双方在财政大权的问题上要达成一致,要让自己变得更加强大,为日子变得红红火火付出更多的努力。一个男人的责任感和担当,是未来婚姻幸福的基本保障。
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