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孟母三迁:纯粹接触效应与社会影响

2017-08-18 06:02:24   中国青年网

孟母三迁的典故出于西汉刘向的《古列女传》,讲的是中国亚圣孟子的母亲为其创造良好成长环境的故事。孟子小时候最初住在墓地附近,年幼的孟子和邻居孩子常常在墓地间玩儿,模仿大人的丧葬仪式捶胸顿足跪拜嚎哭,以此为游戏。寡居的孟母看到后说,这里不适合我的孩子居住,于是带着小孟子搬到一个市集边居住。没想到小孟子在这里又把学商贩叫卖、讨价还价当作游戏,孟母发现这里也不适合孩子居住,于是带着小孟子再次搬家,这次搬到了学宫旁边,小孟子的游戏内容就改为如何模仿大人鞠躬行礼和如何进退的礼仪,孟母见状说:这才真是适合我孩子居住的地方,从此在那里定居。

从这个典故中我们可以看到,亚圣孟子小时候是一个活泼贪玩的孩子,他的观察学习能力(即观察和模仿他人的能力)很强,不仅见什么学什么,而且学什么像什么,而孟母则是一个具有天赋教育敏感和问题解决能力的妈妈,当她发现他们所居住的环境对孩子产生了不好的影响之后,立刻采取积极的措施直到为孩子找到适合其生长的环境。

从心理学角度看,孟母三迁这个典故涉及到社会心理学中两个很重要的概念:一是接触效应(mere-exposure effect又译纯粹接触效应),二是社会影响(social influence)。

所谓接触效应是指:通常“人们越是经常地接触某一事物或者观点,他们就越会喜欢它”,换言之,人们会因为仅仅是熟悉某个事物而发展出对其的偏爱,电视上每天不断重复播放的广告,就正是利用了这一点。研究者发现,由于接触效应的影响,广告仅仅是简单地重复就足以在消费者的意识和无意识中留下记忆痕迹,从而影响他们的消费行为。就好比当前中国的孩子天天耳濡目染麦当劳、肯德基的广告,久而久之,自然对它们情有独钟。

接触效应体现的是社会影响,所谓社会影响是指个体在他人的影响下其态度与行为发生变化的过程。比如小孟子在邻居大人的影响下对哭丧、讨价还价等产生浓厚的模仿兴趣(态度与行为)。人与社会是相互影响的,但是对孩子而言,社会影响的作用显然更大。

社会心理学的研究发现,人在面对社会影响的时候会有如下反应:从众、服从、认同和内化。这几种反应或说阶段不一定是次第发生的,在面对社会影响时,人因为年龄、出身、经历、三观以及环境自身因素等的不同而会处于不同反应阶段。就年龄而言,岁数越小可塑性越大,因此也越容易被影响。越小的孩子到一个新环境后,越容易在周边人影响下迅速进入从众或者服从阶段,而当孩子进入认同与内化阶段时,要想矫正其行为就很不容易了。

因此,为孩子创造积极健康的社会影响,是为父母者当仁不让的责任。

环境影响与家庭教育同等重要,但是,人们往往只记住“孟母三迁”而忽略了“孟母断织”的重要性。其实孟母并没有因为把家般到了学校边就放弃家庭教育,当她发现小孟子学习态度散漫时,不惜把织布机上的半成品剪断以警示小孟子必须一心向学,而她在家织布以尽养家之责的行为本身也是一个榜样。

由此可见,好学校只是孩子成长的充分条件而不是必要条件,靠搬家给孩子创造教育环境,其实不是最好的选择,健康的家庭教育才最为重要。这样的人家,即使没有条件三迁,孩子一样可以健康成长。

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