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攀比式暑期游或适得其反:会窄化孩子的视野

2017-08-15 11:05:45   央广网

从扩展孩子视野,增加社会认知,乃至提升独立思考和行动能力来看,在家门口的一次卖报行为,也许比暑期游更能锻炼孩子。

暑假已经过了大半,孩子们的暑期游则达到了高潮阶段。在我身边,但凡有孩子的家长,都几乎已经形成一个惯例,要把年假放在暑假,方便陪孩子出去玩。这样做当然非常好,尤其是一些学龄前的孩子,更需要大人的陪伴。而不能休假的家长,则倾向给孩子报个游学班。在暑期出游非常火爆的当下,我发现“鄙视链”的生命力真的非常强,在一个班里,从孩子到家长,都不乏对暑期出游的攀比之心。

前不久,社交媒体上一篇标题为《月薪三万,还是撑不起孩子的一个暑假》的文章,在家长的朋友圈热传开来。文章的作者是一个企业高管,她表示自己月薪3万元出头,女儿在广州某外语学院附属名校读五年级,家里大头支出由老公搞定,最近却连新衣服都快不敢买了。原因就是孩子放暑假了。这位高管妈妈列举了女儿暑假需要的3.5万元花费,其中去美国进行为期10天的游学费用,就达到了2万元。

这几年,无论是学校组织还是青少年培训机构组织,暑期出国游的热度都有增不减。杭州市青少年活动中心的数据就显示,2013年该中心出国游学报名人数为204,今年已经超过400人,仅5年就翻了一番。趁着暑期,让孩子出国游学个十天半个月,除了性价比不敢恭维之外,好处是非常显性的。比如,可以锻炼孩子的独立生活能力,可以增长孩子的见识。所以,这位妈妈的情况既让人惊讶,又显得稀松平常。

在一场“教育不能输在起跑线上”的比拼中,我们总是容易看到显性的好处,而忽略隐性的缺失。从众行为本身,更多的只是带给家长一些“我们并非异类”“我们身处潮流中”的安全感,而未必有想象中的那些收获。除了显性的好处,不够淡定的家长们,因为受到社会风潮的蛊惑,而进行攀比式的暑期游,可能进一步窄化孩子的视野。

一般而言,孩子的确通过暑期游开阔了视野。但另一方面,家长和孩子都会认为只有“向上看”,只有去更贵、更发达的地方,才能增长见识,增强能力。这种心智模式一旦形成,就会对孩子产生非常糟糕的影响。

人作为社会动物,不管身处什么阶层、群体,都需要几种最基础同时不可替代的能力,即合作精神、分享精神和共情能力。对于害怕孩子滑落到更低阶层的家长们来说,存在一个基于自身经验的巨大误区,即过去几十年里中国经济一直处于增长状态,整个社会没有经历过经济危机,很少出现大规模的阶层滑落。但在未来,孩子更重要的能力是与人打交道的能力,是面对不同场景的应对能力,是面对危机和失败之后的抗风险能力。而这,也是人工智能时代的教育启示。

上述这些能力,动辄几万元的暑期游不能说完全无法提供,至少提供的要素非常单一,非常单向度。从扩展孩子视野,增加社会认知,乃至提升独立思考和行动能力来看,在家门口的一次卖报行为,也许比暑期游更能锻炼孩子。当然,这样说并非否认暑期游的意义,只是要说明,如果只是在攀比的大环境下选择暑期游,那么,孩子的竞争方向过于单一,最后一定会沦为“烧钱”比拼。

在最终目的上,任何攀比的做法都无法真正拓展孩子的视野,无法锻炼孩子健康的心智。如果沉迷其中,最终反而会削弱孩子思维和见识的复杂性,导致他们的抗风险能力下滑。

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