But as a psychologist with an expertise in child abuse, I can tell you this theory is hogwash. It’s exceedingly rare for a child to be taken by a stranger, and in around 90 percent of sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is someone the kid already knows.

但是，作为一个专门研究儿童虐待的心理学家，我可以告诉你这个理论是胡说八道。孩子被陌生人绑走是极其罕见的。在90%的案例中，犯罪者都是孩子认识的人。

What’s more, research on children’s play suggests that when we don’t allow our children to engage in so-called risky situations when they must face challenges and make decisions on their own, we rob them of the opportunity to develop self-confidence and risk management skills. In other words, we turn them into easy targets for the predators we are trying to protect them from.

而且，对儿童的研究表明，如果孩子必须面对挑战和亲自做出决定的时候，我们却不允许他们经历所谓的风险，这会剥夺他们建立自信心和处理风险的机会。换句话说，我们本来是想保护孩子们不受侵害的，结果反而让他们变成了容易遭受侵害的目标。

That’s why I always encouraged my son to do things on his own. When he was 3 months old, I let him cry it out, so he could learn to fall asleep without my help. And at 9, when he expressed a desire to walk around town on his own, I let him.

这就是为什么我总是鼓励我儿子独立完成一些事情。当他3个月大的时候，我让他自己哭，这样才能学会在没有我的帮助下入睡；他9岁时，表达了自己想在镇上逛的愿望，我同意了。

None of this was easy for me. Like every parent, I am petrified by the thought of anything happening to my child.

这里面没有一件事对我来说是容易的。和天下所有父母一样，一想到孩子会发生什么事情，我就提心吊胆。

But I also know that the best way I can protect my son from bad people is to let him practice using his own wits to survive.He can do that only if I’m not hovering.

但我也知道，保护儿子不受坏人侵犯的最好方法就是让他锻炼自己的生存技能，而只有在我不天天围着他转时，他才可以得到这种锻炼。

Of course, there are no guarantees. Confident and independent kids can get hurt, too. I’m still afraid.

当然，这种事情没有万无一失的保证，哪怕是自信和独立的孩子也可能遭到伤害，所以我仍然担惊受怕。

But I decided long ago thatmy need to quell my anxiety would never trump his need to grow into a self-sufficient adult.I chose to be brave.

但我很久以前就决定了，我永远不会为了减轻自己的焦虑，而把自己的需求凌驾于他想成长为一个自立自强的成年人的需求之上。所以，我选择勇敢。

性教育、防性侵教育一定要从小开始，坏人可不嫌孩子们太小。

（来源：中国日报双语新闻编辑部)