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做人做事做官再“十忌”

2017-08-10 16:25:03   中国青年网

九、自贬、自损、自卑是自怨自艾的“软刀子”

人可以自嘲但不可以自贬、自损。自嘲就是自我解嘲,拿自己开玩笑、作调侃,这既是有自信、有底气的表现,又是特定特殊情况下缓解尴尬、缓和气氛、化解矛盾的方法,自嘲显示出一种幽默、风趣和机智。但是,自嘲不可过之,过之则成自贬乃至自损。自贬、自损就是往自己脸上抹黑,就是丑化自己。照理讲,人都有自尊、爱面子,都习惯给自己“涂脂抹粉”,谁愿意往自己身上泼脏水呢?细想起来,拿自己开涮的人,或欲有求于人,或想委身于人,或内心畏惧于人,这其中有的可能是自愿的、心甘的,有的则可能是无奈的、被迫的,但无论哪一种都是或心态不良、或心术不正、或心思不好而致,都不可取。“把别人的快乐建立在自己的痛苦之上”,已经不是一种境界,而是一种自轻、自贱,甚至是自毁、自灭了,而自轻、自贱正是源于内心的自卑、自怜。人可以自谦但绝不可以自卑,自卑的人始于自己看轻自己,最终也让他人看不起。人生在世,还是应该活得不卑不亢、昂首挺胸,不为五斗米折腰,不因名利作践自己,做一个肩膀硬、腰板直的大写的人。自贬、自损、自卑是跪着生、爬着行,永远换不来尊重。

十、贪权、贪钱、贪色是身败名裂的“死胡同”

权、钱、色是做人做事做官路上的三道坎,顺利地迈过,则幸福做人、成功做事、平安做官,反之则摔跤跌倒。人们常说权力是把双刃剑,用得好可以助人成事,用得不好则坏事害己。权力大则责任大、风险大、“围猎”的人多,这都是成正比的。对权力既要懂敬畏,又要懂知足。贪权绝非好事,如果整日削尖脑袋一味“往上爬”,迟早有一天会重重地摔下来。人没有钱寸步难行,然而一味贪钱则万万不行。人不能把钱带进天堂,钱却可以把人带进坟墓。老祖宗告诉我们,“钱”字右边是两个“戈”,意味着金银财宝边上有两位手持兵刃的士兵时刻守护着。对不义之财、非法之物,任何时候、任何情况下都不能有非分之想,“手莫伸,伸手必被捉”。老祖先还告诫人们,“色”字头上一把刀,古往今来,多少见色起意、色胆包天而做出傻事、蠢事来的人,最后都身败名裂。平心而论,对于权、钱、色,一般人都会有欲望,但不该得的,绝不能要、不能取、不能碰。权、钱、色,是为官的三道关。无论贪哪一样,最终都会落个竹篮打水一场空的人生结局。(本文由《秘书工作》杂志提供,刊于2016年第6期,如需转载请与版权方联系)

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