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好了伤疤忘了痛 女子5年谈3次恋爱每次都遇到渣男

2017-08-10 10:17:55   

小林的第二任男朋友对她特别好。他每天都会问候她早安,经常催促她按时吃饭,她在微信聊天时回复短信稍微慢一点,他都会很着急地打电话过来问是否出了什么状况。两个人上班的地方离得不算近,但只要时间允许,他都会从埌东驱车到市中心找她一起吃饭。他对她的紧张和重视程度,让她有种受宠的错觉。交往三四个月之后,她才发现,他和另一个女子纠缠不清。他并不隐瞒,他告诉小林,那是他甩不掉的前女友,他早已提出分手,是对方不依不饶不肯放手,并毫不忌讳地把他们的合照和聊天截屏给她看。小林相信了他的话,在心里也觉得,他的前女友确实长得太难看了,根本配不上他,只有她这样的美女才和他相配。然而,随着交往的深入,小林发现,事实并不是如他所说的那样,他在与她交往期间,照样与别的女性有不正当关系。小林成为别的女人眼中的“他的前女友”。那时,他们已经交往一年时间。“对我的伤害很大。我觉得,他对他前女友那样,是因为他前女友长得丑,可我这么漂亮,他应该不会对我这样的。”小林的想当然和侥幸心理,让她在这段感情里伤得遍体鳞伤。

好了伤疤忘了疼的小林,并没有从之前的感情中吸取教训,又在与第三任男友的交往中重蹈覆辙。小林说,其实她也知道第三任男朋友曾经有过出轨行为,但她还是原谅了他,因为前两任男朋友给她带来的伤痛,令她认为男人多少都会有这种行为。可是,一味地原谅,只会让情况变得更糟。到后来,小林无法忍受,只好分手。

小林在第一段感情中,没有认真观察对方是什么样的人就盲目进入一段恋爱关系;第二段感情中,明知道对方有出轨前科但侥幸地认为自己足够漂亮对方不会那样对待自己;在第三段感情中,她想当然地认为男人都会犯那样的错而最终“助纣为虐”,她总是在侥幸心理和自我感觉良好的交互作用下,说服自己去掩盖和接纳感情中出现的致命问题,导致她在恋爱中一次次步入同样的“坑”。

也曾有过同样困惑的读者向记者倾诉过自己的痛苦。如果留心观察,确实可以发现身边有不少这样的人,他们明知道对方不好,但还是选择跟对方在一起,想当然地以为自己用爱可以去感化他,改变他,或者觉得他再怎么坏,但他爱我,他不会对我坏。

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