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高晓松:我走运是因为我知道放弃

2016-04-21 09:09:58   三联生活周刊 王小峰

过去,形容高晓松有一个词非常恰当:少年轻狂。他狂到可以目空一切,谁也没他牛。但是这些年,他的性格发生了明显改变,他不再狂妄,言谈话语间带着冷静和成熟。他说是那半年牢里的经历让他有了很多改变:“我觉得这个事老天安排得特别好,我特感谢这个事。年轻时你狂一狂说说也就算了,一个人到了40岁,还那样,就不好了。”

说起因醉驾服刑,高晓松确实感触很多:“其实我一直在想事,我不一定到那里边想事去。我在美国也经常半个月没人来找我,也没活儿,我也想。但是我觉得有两个改变,一个是我接触到以前我确实没有接触过的更深入的社会。你喝酒的时候碰见过俩人,那不叫接触,你得睡一块才叫真接触,大通铺睡15个人,朝夕相处,人家是这么想问题的,就是这么生活的。而且我们屋里还有俩文盲,有个文盲有一天跟我说了一句话,我觉得说得特好,他说:‘我其实没有罪,我出去还要偷东西。’他说他唯一的罪行就是他贫穷。我说‘你字都不识,你这话说得还挺有意思’。还有一个在火车站生活的人,孤儿,从小就在火车站,没去过别的地儿。他看人特别准,进来的人他看一眼大概就知道这个人什么样,他的本事就是成天看上下火车的人,他拿眼睛看就知道谁他一定能偷,谁着急,谁慌里慌张。这些人你接触了之后确实改变了你很多。原来有一个很怪的思维,因为你看书,你老觉得大家都是这么思考问题,因为书里就是这么写的嘛,后来发现不是。”

除此之外,高晓松觉得自己的情商在服刑期间获得大大提升。过去,不管在圈子里还是在什么地方,高晓松不用在情商上下工夫,也一样混得挺好,但是在里面,完全是另一回事。“跟这些小警察、中警察、大警察打交道,你不能让他们烦你吧,如果警察烦你,你得多倒霉啊。你开始会跟人家说:大哥,我出去以后,怎么怎么着。警察说:‘我知道自己是个小警察,我这里关的牛×的人多了,都这么说,出去没一个人记得我,你别给我来这个。’这时候你就知道自己情商低了。人家说得很对啊,谁进来都这么跟我说啊,这儿关过房地产商、关过大官,人人都这么说你让我抽根烟我出去之后报答你,他说我没见谁出去还记得我。我就知道,社会不是这么来的,那就真诚点呗,你别跟人来虚头巴脑的。在里面,有想学英文的我教英文,想识字的我教人识字,还有俩想学写诗的,后来还把我选成头版。警察觉得你这个人还挺好,大家也觉得你这人挺好。”

狂妄的人,有一个特点是从来不在乎别人,也不会在乎别人的看法,但是高晓松自从体会了“让大家觉得我挺好”之后,他觉得很重要,至少在那个环境,对他的存在很重要。他说:“以前无论是上学还是在圈子里,认为你觉得我好不好根本不重要,你讨厌我更好,我还不喜欢你呢,我以前是这么一个人。但是在里面,而且那不是一个月两个月,那是很长的时间,你第一次觉得大家喜欢你这件事很重要、很好。而且你也慢慢觉得你应该是一个诚信的人,所以我答应人家的事我出来都办了,除了有一个小孩,我答应他出来做我助理,我经纪人拼命反对,说你怎么能让一个坐过牢的人当你助理呢。我说我还坐过牢呢,他比我坐的时间还短呢。到最后我的经纪人死活反对,他主动去找那个人,我都安排好了,给他交了学厨师课的钱,又给他租了房子,也算是履行承诺吧。其他人我答应人家的事我也都办了,出来了跟大家还保持挺好关系。我以前从来不是这样的人,跟老狼都没这么肉麻过。我从小不太喜欢和人保持密切来往,不是让人喜欢对你有什么利益,当然在里面还是重要的,你总不能让人家揍你吧。包括警察,我们有时间还聚一下,他们说没想到你还能记着我。我这一辈子就进去这么一回,我还不记着你?那个经历给我一个特别大的改变,就是你应该是一个有诚信的人,是一个说完不会忘的人。我年轻的时候,没良心到什么程度?有一次我去潭柘寺,拿气枪打鸟,结果被人没收,让我回学校开了证明来取枪。开完证明去取枪,上长途汽车我就知道,是末班车。取枪过程办了一堆手续,出来后车没了。我从潭柘寺往回走。深更半夜,也没有路灯,我抄近道,翻山越岭,一直在山里走。最后在路上碰到一个特别好的农民,我说大哥你能把我带到门头沟镇上吗,那边有夜班车能回北京。他就骑车带着我到镇上。我跟他说,大哥你叫什么名字告诉我,我肯定忘不了你,肯定报答你。到家的时候都早上了,我跟我妈说:‘今天碰到特好的一人,他名字叫——’忘了。我以前就这么一人,当场就给忘了。我到这个岁数应该有这个改变了,不能永远觉得自己是一个狂生,一个孩子,一个宠儿。”

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