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听上门女婿讲他们的故事

2017-09-08 06:37:35   中国青年网

只要一提起“上门女婿”这个词,有些人也许会想起男嫁女、男方能力不好、被人瞧不起等一些负能量的字词,但是这些应该是传统的旧观念旧思想了。在如今提倡男女平等的社会里,随着经济发展和知识水平的提高,上门女婿也在发生着微妙的变化。

笔者走访了建德几位上门女婿,一起来听听他们的心声。

50多年无私付出 赢得一致好评

张爷爷今年70多岁了,他算得上是建德老一辈的“上门女婿”了。谈起当年的事,张爷爷记忆仍然很清晰。“我是金华兰溪人,当年是从兰溪到建德来谋生。因为自己有门手艺,是个篾匠师傅,所以一般是哪家需要编竹篮子、竹箩筐、竹席等,我就会去雇主家,由雇主提供吃住,呆上个好几天。有次,到了建德的一个村里,那个村里人口挺多的,几乎家家户户都需要请我去做竹制品,所以我在这个村子呆了好几个月时间。机缘巧合下,有个雇主看上我的吃苦耐劳,并且有门手艺,希望让我当上门女婿。这个雇主家境挺好的,儿子在外不常在家,有个女儿还未出嫁。因为自己家里比较清贫,想着当上门女婿可以为家里减轻不少的负担,所以我回去征求了家里人意见,就重新回到这个村里,当了上门女婿。”

其实,在当时的年代,上门女婿还是挺少的,而且经常会有人在背后说闲话,被人瞧不起,但是张爷爷却用行动证明了自己的能力。

“我知道当时村里好多人都会在背后议论我,但是我只是家里比较穷,自己行得正、坐得端,而且肯吃苦,我相信只要把自己的能力发挥出来,大家一定会对我改观的,我并不是一个没能力的人。”

张爷爷这么想,也是这么做的。在之后的50多年里,他一直勤勤恳恳,为这个家忙里忙外,主动承担起责任,为这个家无私付出了很多。乡里乡亲也渐渐知道了他的为人,再也不会在背后议论纷纷了。

张爷爷的邻居肖大爷说:“其实不管是女婿,还是上门女婿,老张都做得很好,尽孝尽责,安分守己,可能连老人家的亲儿子都比不过他呢。”

岳父不舍女儿远嫁 小张当了上门女婿

女儿是爸妈心中的宝,尤其是那些独生女的家庭,爸妈更加舍不得自己的女儿远嫁。所以很多爸妈都希望自己的女儿结婚后,还能和自己一起同住。不过,受到一些传统观念的影响,并不是任何男人都愿意当上门女婿的,但是小张没有任何犹豫,坦然选择了当上门女婿。

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