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孩子自立才是家长的定心丸

2017-09-08 02:11:46   中国青年网

刘春鹏

又是一年开学季,许多家长把孩子送进校门后却没离开,而是抢占各种角度采取各种姿势暗中观察,其中有人还拿出了望远镜。家长们对孩子的关心是实实在在的,一定要看到孩子在校园里的动态,哪怕只是一眼他们也放心。当然,家长们的担心绝不是空穴来风:宁波一小学开学食堂第一餐,半数孩子不会剥虾,前两年会吃的只有个位数;大学生不会洗衣服,不会叠被子,甚至连袜子都要攒起来等周末带回家让父母洗。这样的现状确实难让家长放心。

现状背后的原因比较复杂,既有家庭教育的缺陷,也有学校应试教育的过度,更有社会对孩子生活技能教育的普遍不重视。过于在乎孩子的学习成绩,把教育的概念局限在“考高分、进名校”,而关于家务等日常生活实践则是一片空白。这种功利主义的教育态度和思想,极大地阻碍了综合素质教育目标的落实,使得孩子的生活技能教育普遍缺失,也在很大程度上影响了孩子自理、自立、自主能力的发展。

父母不可能一辈子都照顾陪伴孩子,生活自理能力不足不仅会降低个人在社会上的竞争力,更会带来人格欠缺、心理脆弱。孩子的生活自立是在长期的生活实践和社会实践中逐渐积累起来的,注重培养孩子的生活自立,是生活需要,也是教育需要,更是当下的需要。在日常生活中有必要教会孩子一些生活技能,让孩子独立解决某些生活问题,强化自立生活的意识和能力,树立自主、自强、自我完善的信念,增强适应自然环境和社会环境的能力,进而消除对父母的依赖,塑造独立的人格。

重庆“8岁娃儿涮火锅”的新闻中那句“我敬你是条汉子”,除了是对孩子自理能力的肯定,更是在提醒家长放手让孩子独立体验生活。其实,《国家中长期教育改革和发展规划纲要》已经明确强调:“丰富社会实践,强化能力培养……教育学生学会知识技能,学会动手动脑,学会生存生活,学会做人做事,促进学生主动适应社会。”学校应该将生活能力纳入课程发展目标、教育目标,成为自立教育的积极推动者、实践者,让自立的“汉子”多一些,父母的放心多一些。

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