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大人眼里寻常事,孩子笔下乐趣多

2017-09-01 06:22:00   中国青年网

新少年作文大赛进入到第四个月,高年级组作品很出彩,让第13周的评委、杭州胜利实验学校李雪慧老师很惊喜。李老师不仅认认真真地看了每一篇投稿,选出了三位周冠军,还指出了这三篇作文的特色,以及需要继续努力的地方。

小学组第13周周冠军作文是胡宴慈同学的《吃葡萄比赛》,李老师点评道:“很喜欢这篇小短文,原因之一是小作者把和妈妈比赛吃葡萄的过程写得很清楚,两人在吃葡萄时的动作、紧张写得惟妙惟肖,让人看了有身临其境之感。这对二年级的小朋友来说已经做得很棒!在大人眼里不值一提的寻常事儿,在孩子眼里却充满着挑战和乐趣,将吃葡萄写出了乐趣,写出了亲情。这是最难能可贵的。”

初中组周冠军蒋励同学,写的是《最后一朵蒲公英?!》,李老师觉得,“写作视角独特,明明是一个老生常谈的关于环境保护的问题,作者却巧妙地以一朵寻找立足之地的蒲公英为主角,将想说的一串大道理在蒲公英求生存的坎坷和艰难中表达得淋漓尽致,对当下环境意识淡漠的人们敲响了温柔而又沉重的一记警钟,作者的‘醉翁之意’也了然于各位读者心中。文章接近结束时的转折,提升了文章整体的立意。”

作文赛第14周评委是杭州第十三中学语文老师沈炜,他对写实类文章尤其偏爱。在点评初中组周冠军作品《风住尘香花已尽》时,沈老师说:“看得出小作者是个喜爱读书,情趣高雅的少年。本文化面为点,旁征博引,抓住对自己影响最大的两句词娓娓道出心中的回忆,品词句,忆故人,感人生,沉醉在亲情带来的感动中,也用自己的感动感动着读者,让人品味到三生三世的情真意切。本文不失为一篇值得反复品读的佳作。”

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