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钱江晚报:如果我们沉默,每个女孩都可能成为林奕含

2017-08-15 10:16:24   中国青年网

南京南站候车大厅,众目睽睽下,一男子把一个10岁左右小女孩抱坐在自己大腿上,公然伸手到小女孩衣服里摸索。看到男子所作所为及路人异样的目光,与涉事男子同行的长辈均未制止。昨天,全网被这条“南京南站一男子涉嫌候车室公然猥亵小女孩”的新闻刷屏。

目击者称:“20岁左右的那个男孩就一直当众抠摸小女孩胸口,猥亵小女孩。孩子的表情比较麻木。似乎也不知道拒绝。” 不少网友惊呼,在公共场合就如此猖狂,在家里又会如何肆无忌惮。

“熟人性侵”这一点,已经越来越多地被大众所了解。但是,另一个事实还未广泛被意识到:对儿童进行性侵的也不一定是成人,可能是某个稍年长的堂兄弟姐妹或者玩伴、高年级的同学等等。长达五分钟的猥亵行为未遭到任何人的制止,目击者是否因为觉着是别人的家事而装作熟视无睹,不予干涉?旁边的长辈是否又觉着是兄妹或玩伴间亲昵动作不用顾忌?

什么是恰当的行为,什么是要被严格禁止的行为,不仅成人要有明确的行为规范意识,还要将其传递给孩子。不规范的行为是公然对文明的亵渎,应该引起全社会的谴责。

除了依靠法律制裁,作为家长最应当做的是痛定思痛,知道如何对我们的孩子进行正确的性教育,防止悲剧再次上演。用网友的话说,满世界都是魔鬼,你却让孩子活得像纯洁的天使?

对未成年人实施猥亵行为成功的大多基于孩子对性的无知和无力反抗。永远不要嫌性教育太早,因为施暴的恋童癖者不会等你的孩子长大。那些看似遥远的儿童性侵危机,其实就潜伏在每个人的身边。

我们很容易将成年人对自己孩子的过分喜爱,当成是大人对孩子单纯善意的亲昵,不以为然。又因为孩子对性知识缺乏,遇事不敢声张,为恋童癖制造了天然的犯罪条件。面对色魔之手,儿童尚且无力保护自己,更何况不声不响的外界环境。

旁观者的沉默,是罪恶滋生的温床。我们的沉默和默许只能让施虐者更加肆无忌惮。一个不能让儿童感觉到安全的社会环境,是这个社会里每个成年人的耻辱。

被侵害儿童身心所造成的伤害是无法估量的,受害者可能要花很多年甚至一生的时间才能摆脱被性侵犯的阴影,也有可能终其一生努力也不得。台湾美女作家林奕含因为幼年时遭受辅导老师性侵犯,始终无法从被侵犯的阴影中走出来,而身患严重抑郁症,最后以自杀的方式结束自己年仅26岁的生命,就是一个鲜活的例子。

如果我们选择沉默,如果没有明确的行为边界准则,每个女孩都可能成为下一个林奕含。为了我们的孩子,不要做沉默的大多数。

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