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那年我最后一个离开学校

2017-08-10 08:10:24   

■蔡淼

王家卫电影里说过,世间所有的相遇,都是久别后的重逢。而我认为每一场相遇和分别都是限量版的。即使我们今天已经走出了校园,但是我们仍然无法走出那段斑驳的回忆。刚进校门时我们总念叨着说毕业遥遥无期,可是转眼间我们就要各奔东西。

记忆里的东西总是美好的,每年夏天路过母校眼前总是会浮现出那段青涩的时光。有人说再多各自牛逼的时光,也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。大学就是这样,一起旷课,一起熬夜,一起打游戏,一起打工,一起打架,一起喝酒,一起疯狂。没心没肺的活着,说着不着边际的话,天马行空的胡乱想象。

天下没有不散的筵席,终于到了毕业举起酒杯的时候。那场晚宴我们吃了四个小时,满是祝福和感谢的话语,让我常常觉得非常紧张。当我看到平时我们眼中的“女汉子们”都满眼红肿,泪水如同瀑布下泻,几次眼眶差点溃堤。内心慌乱的不行,生怕自己微红的眼睛会透露出一丝的不舍,我可是男子汉呢。于是开始说着言不由衷的话语,故意调侃说笑,恨不得瞬间把自己变成像卓别林那样的幽默大师以掩盖心虚。说实话内心胆怯,生怕流泪,怕眼眶会湿润,怕鼻子会通红,怕女孩子会笑我们?其实最怕的是说话会哽咽,从此控制不住一发不可收拾,若干年后再次聚首的时候成为大家的谈资。明明是四年前就已经知道的结果,可是我们谁都没有预计到它会来的这么快。

很想喝醉,但是心不醉酒又岂能灌醉呢!于是我大声宣布,我要最后一个离开学校,因为我舍不得让你们来送我。浑浑噩噩四年了,我终于觉得自己做了一件自豪而有意义的事情。可是第一遭我就后悔了,当把自己相处四年的亲友送上出租车的时候,我表面上还说着前途光明的祝福,心却仿佛被人摘去了,无法形容。我只知道我是笑着把他们一个一个送出学校的,然后再一个人哭着鼻子回到空荡荡的教室和寝室,关上门自己静静地大哭一场。

毕业像是一次脱壳、一场洗礼,是又一次的整装而发;青春不会就此散场,未来的道路将更加光亮。

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