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如何面对孩子心理断奶期

2017-08-08 05:34:55   中国青年网

王方方

来自周口市的晓明今年20岁,她已经让家人头疼三年多了。三年前,晓明还是个乖乖女,学习好,性格好。但是后来晓明渐渐变了,她总认为自己是对的、别人是错的,常常和同学、老师发生争执,直到最后不愿读书,辍学在家。在家里,晓明常常因为一点小事就大发雷霆,父母分析后认为,可能是平时对晓明要求太严,让她产生了逆反心理,所以,他们决定送晓明去国外读书,让她自由一些。

可是,当晓明回国过暑假时,她仍然脾气暴躁,对父母百般刁难。无助的晓明妈妈只好寻求医生的帮助。郑州市第八人民医院副院长胡雄及时给予其指导。

心理断奶期处理不当 叛逆情绪会加重

胡雄说,一般情况下,孩子在成长过程中,有一个心理发育过渡期,叫心理断奶期。一般发生在十三四岁,早一点在十一二岁,晚一点在十六七岁,发生早晚跟父母教育方式、生活环境及孩子心理发育速度有关。

胡雄说,处在心理断奶期的孩子,直接的表现就是逆反,他们觉得自己长大了,该有主见了,认为自己聪明,能独立完成一些事情,于是开始标新立异,遇到事情要提出自己的建议。

这其实是一个正常的心理过程,如果父母、老师或朋友能够对其有较好的引导,鼓励他,告诉他“你行的”,孩子的心理需求得到适当满足,一般两三年以后,父母会发现孩子不再跟自己较劲了,变得懂事了。

但是如果父母处理不当,其叛逆情绪就会更加严重,叛逆期也会延长。

双向情绪障碍 孩子内心很痛苦

胡雄认为,晓明已经20岁了,她的表现已经不是单纯的叛逆,应该考虑为双向情感障碍(又称钟摆病),所谓双向,包括狂躁和抑郁两个方面。

孩子抑郁的时候,不愿意说,家人观察不到,但有时又会表现得很叛逆,比如不愿意去上学,不愿意跟人交流,爱发脾气,容易跟人产生矛盾等。

有些孩子能意识到自己的情绪变化,会适当控制情绪,但有些孩子常常不分场合乱发脾气,对于后者,可能需要药物干预,比如情绪稳定剂,合理服用对孩子情绪的稳定有帮助。

胡雄表示,他接触过很多像晓明这样的孩子,他们的内心经常有空虚感、无力感,同时又感到急躁不安,想找一点刺激,发脾气是他们缓解内心矛盾情感的一种方式,其实他们自己也感到非常痛苦。

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