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暑期报班引发亲子矛盾
2017-08-06 15:01:53 中国青年网
对于很多孩子来说,各种类型的培训班、游学营、夏令营是暑期生活里绕不过去的主题。假期还未过半,顶着盲目报班的压力,不堪重负的孩子们与父母已是冲突不断。专家表示,从学校“共性”的教育环境中脱离出来,假期是帮助孩子们查漏补缺进行“个性化”成长的好时机。作为家长,要充分了解孩子的特长“按需报班”。
这个暑假,爱踢足球的李先生给儿子丁当报了一个足球培训班。没过两天,丁当就抱病而归。李先生找到老师一打听,才发现生病是儿子为了逃避训练的策划。原来,丁当对足球并不感兴趣,“在球场上跑来跑去,大热天的一身臭汗”,实在让他热血不起来。但是迫于父亲的压力,那个“不”字又很难说出口;最后他只能出此下策,通过“自残”来逃过训练。与丁当一样,小蕊也在某提供住宿的培训班待了三天之后跑回了家。不过,与丁当不同的是,她是被培训班“遣散回家”的。原来,家里花了好几万给小蕊报的这个培训班,只是为了找个地方来提供暑期托管,报之前并没有跟小蕊好好沟通。觉得“毫无意思”的小蕊,在培训班表现叛逆,让老师头疼不已。
有家长发愁没法把孩子送到辅导班去,也有家长发愁孩子不愿意从辅导班回家。据北京市中小学心理咨询中心的老师观察,有的孩子将上辅导班当成了交友、谈恋爱的机会。不过,有家长已经对自己自作主张的行为表现出了后悔。张女士抱着培养国际视野的想法给儿子报了一个国外游学营,可孩子出去没几天,张女士就后悔了。一方面,儿子每天反馈回来的吃喝玩乐的照片,让她有些担心这钱花得有点儿不划算;另一方面,国外只上半天课的做法给儿子打开了“新世界”的大门,进而演变成对国内教育的抱怨和不满。张女士现在担心的是,经过国外几天这么一闹腾,等开学了孩子的心还能收得回来吗?北京市中小学心理咨询中心主任温方表示,从学校“共性”的教育环境中脱离出来,假期应该是为孩子查漏补缺和个性弥补的好时机。作为家长,无论是报辅导班,还是选择其他的活动形式,都应该在充分了解孩子特长的基础上进行,不该盲目追风。专家表示,看见别人家孩子学什么,自己的孩子也不能落下,反映的是家长的焦虑,在某种程度上也是家长懒于思考,疏于学习的一种表现。虽然家长让孩子参加各种活动的“出发点”是好的,但家长还是要花一点时间思考一下“为了什么而出发”,不要让本应快乐的假期变得不快乐。
本报记者牛伟坤J191
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