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出轨 婚姻中的大风暴
2017-08-05 16:02:25 中国青年网
男人和女人一旦踏入婚姻的殿堂,就是一个家庭了,所以要学会经营婚姻,一旦婚姻出现问题,男人或者女人出轨,家庭的温度都会迅速下降。一方出轨后,另一方该如何面对呢?也许,许多人都会沉浸在怒气和失衡的情绪中,却从未认真想过,一方出轨后,另一方是选择接受,还是放弃?
在所有出轨案例中,人们自然会把出轨的标签先挂在男人头上,确实,来自不完全统计,超六成出轨案例上演的都是中年男子和年轻女人之间的桥段,近四成出轨的主角才是女人。我们不纠结于有关男人、女人出轨的比例,因为一个家庭中,无论是男人先出轨,亦或是女人出轨,实质上都是对一方感情上或多或少的背叛和伤害。当一个男人或者女人出轨后,那么夫妻之间,发生的矛盾的几率会日渐增多。他们或者她们会向对方产生不满,会抱怨,会拿一些小问题,来和对方发生争执,少数出轨的一方,也会因此小矛盾,小摩擦,向对方提出离婚。出轨式的家庭,虽然还维持着原相,但是冷漠的暗流会情不自禁地流淌,心不在焉,讨厌听到配偶讲话或逃避与配偶交流,家里常常出现不寻常的异性电话,接电话时神情诡秘,通话记录、短信、微信马上删除,等等,直接导致家庭气氛的怪异。王菲有首歌叫《不留》,里面有一句歌词是:我把心给了你,身体给了他。很多人把这个叫做出轨心声,其实事实上的出轨,远比这首歌表达的形式多样和复杂。
现代人对出轨这件事,不同的人有不同的看法,有些人认为这是一件不光彩的事情,可有些人会心安理得觉得为了心中的感情偶尔放纵一下并没有什么错,因为我们的家庭生活并非完美。很多人以为所有东西都是可以攀比的,比丈夫成功有钱,比妻子年轻漂亮,比谁的车好房子大,多了这种攀比心,就会多了出轨的可能,所以,摒弃不属于自己的那些身外之物,认真对待感情,就会减少发生出轨这件事了。
本报记者 陈滨 J071
遭遇出轨需要理性面对
程光辉
(婚姻及性格分析师培训师NLP国际高级导师)
如果遭到外遇,将是我们的悲哀与不幸,甚至难免不敢置信、心情绝望,但是一切并非无可挽回,我们尚可学习修复这段婚姻。一般男人或者女人出轨,都会经历以下几个阶段:
一、酝酿阶段——当配偶对外遇跃跃欲试时
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