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妇人回家之后,看到家里的狗倒在地上喘着

2017-06-28 08:11:15   

晚饭时,我习惯性地拿出酒杯倒上酒,然后边吃边喝,儿子问我:你这酒杯能盛多少呢?我说:大约二两,怎么了? 他说:呃,我一泡尿能有二两了! 我忙追问:什么意思? 他说:那天我用你这个酒杯试了一下,刚好尿满。。。

妇人回家之后,看到家里的狗倒在地上喘着。她马上将狗载去找兽医。兽医告诉她,因为还不知道呼吸困难的原因,所以必须将器官切开,把管子放到里面去才行,又说这看了会让人难以忍受,所以劝妇人先回家,把狗寄放在该处一晚。妇人回家后突然发现,一个男子躺在自家的卧室的床底下。竟然血流不止,报警后,女子抱着自己死去的狗狗,哭了一宿。你,看懂了吗?

跟老妈申请报备学车学费,原价3600跟他妈说给的时候给个整数。本以为会给四千,第二天老妈把3500摔在了桌上关门走了。。。

高中我和我一哥们,还有一美女一起喝酒,美女喝了一小杯就倒了,哥们给送回去了。 后来美女失恋了,找我喝酒,我一看,机会啊,就你这酒量。 结果人家连着喝了10多瓶没事,我吐了好几回!多么痛的领悟!

有个老头去看医生,说他的肠胃有问题。医生问他:“你的大便规律吗?”“很规律,每天早上八点钟准时大便。”“那你还有什么问题?”“问题是,我每天早上九点钟起床。”医生:“……”老头:“医生,你给开点啥药呗。”医生呆呆地看了老头半天,拿出处方笺,在上面写道:建议买台全自动洗衣机。

和媳妇一起出门,路边有一个流浪歌手在卖唱,我跟媳妇说:“哪天我身无分文了我也去路边卖唱去。”媳妇看看我说:“你不是那块料。”我:“难道我去卖唱还会被饿死么。”媳妇叹了口气,道:“不,你会被打死的!”

朋友送给我几片面膜,说是效果很好,我试了几片,感觉一般,硬邦邦的不太舒服,就没有再用了。直到有一天她来我家,说起面膜的事,她让我做给她看,最后她惊讶地大叫:”天哪!你居然一直用里面的包装膜在做面膜!“

一次在公共wc上厕所,上到一半,发现手机挺脏的,于是那纸擦啊擦啊!手机变的超干净,心里那叫一个乐,突然,我发现一个特别恐怖的事,特别特别恐怖的事……

你以为有个爱网购的老婆就是悲剧吗?让我来告诉你更加悲剧的是老公是快递小哥,每天还是笑呵呵的把包裹送到老婆手里!

我有一辆三轮摩托车,用它去做水果生意。进来的水果摆在摩托车上,摆了好几层高。来了一个女孩买水果,拿了一个下面的水果,结果上边的掉了下来,我赶紧伸手去抓,女孩用腿去挡,结果……其实我真不是有意的。。。

我在楼下等我朋友,我发现一个帅哥盯着我看,我有点不好意思就走开了,结果我一走就发现帅哥跑到我刚刚站的地方捡了几百块钱。。。我瞬间懵逼。。。

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