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孩子的不合理要求该怎样对他说“NO”

2017-09-20 08:12:23   中国经济网

核心提示|“妈妈,我想要这个玩具!”“好,给你买!”“爸爸,我想吃冰淇淋!”“好,给你买!”……面对孩子的要求,不少父母不忍心拒绝。但当孩子不合理的要求被拒绝后,有些娃娃就采用哭闹等方法来与家长“对抗”。此时,家长们应该怎么办? 

求助

一被父母拒绝孩子就哭闹,家长很犯愁

“我家孩子太让人头疼了,一旦要求被拒绝就大哭大闹。”近日,家长李女士求助说。

李女士家有一个5岁的女儿,小姑娘爱说爱笑,很是招人喜欢。“从小到现在,孩子只要提什么要求,我们都会满足她。看见孩子开心,家里大人也都高兴。”李女士说,最近女儿提的要求越来越不合理,比如大半夜的非嚷嚷着要吃冰淇淋,已经有了N个芭比娃娃后还非要让再买,等等。

思考再三,李女士觉得不能再惯着女儿,于是就拒绝了孩子的一些不合理要求。“没想到,孩子开始大哭大闹,平时挺听话一孩子,这个时候讲道理也不管用,哄也哄不住,有次哭得都快吐了。”李女士既生气又心疼,“打也打不得,这可怎么办?”

调查

哭闹、打滚、求助老人,娃娃斗智家长

“哎呀,为了要个玩具,这孩子是啥招都用。”大河报记者随机采访了10位家长,不少家长直接吐槽,孩子为满足自己的要求,与家长斗智斗勇,招数不少。

家长张先生说,上周他带3岁多的儿子出去玩,路过一个玩具店,儿子看上了一款超级飞侠,想着家里已经有好几个了,他就没同意给儿子买。“谁知道,这家伙竟然倒地就打滚,边滚还边哭着嚷嚷,‘我就要我就要,不买就不走’,气得我当时就修理了他一顿。”

家长吴女士也说,自家女儿一旦要求被拒绝,就会跑去找爷爷奶奶或者姥姥姥爷装可怜求助,然后老人心疼孩子就会帮女儿撑腰,让她很是头疼。

支招

拒绝孩子不合理要求这位妈妈有妙招

“孩子的要求被拒绝,心里肯定不开心,哭闹是难免的。”在与孩子斗智斗勇的实践中,家长楚女士摸索出了一套经验。在她看来,当孩子提出合理的要求时,能满足的尽量满足,暂时满足不了可以用延缓的方式来转移孩子的注意力。“不过,如果孩子提出了不合理甚至无理的要求时,父母一定要拒绝。”

楚女士提醒,在拒绝孩子不合理的要求时,家长不要带有情绪,要尽量态度温和,拒绝的语气是肯定的,不要含糊其辞,更不要采取要挟的方式拒绝孩子,因为这样只会使孩子的反应更加激化。“家长可以心平气和并尽量简洁地告诉孩子被拒绝的原因,当孩子哭闹时不妨把孩子抱在怀里轻抚其后背,让孩子稍稍发泄一下情绪,也可以引导孩子自己做决定。必要的时候也可以冷处理一下,对孩子的哭闹行为不予理睬。”

在对孩子说“NO”时,楚女士也有自己的原则。比如,对于同样的事情态度始终如一,说了“NO”就坚持到底,不因为孩子的哭闹就轻易改变自己的决定;拒绝孩子不合理的要求时,与其他家庭成员沟通好,家长之间的态度保持一致,不让孩子有“退路”。(谭萍)

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