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《我们的爱》引热议“姥姥带大的” 隔代情戳中观众泪点

2017-08-25 10:56:46   中国经济网

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隔代教育

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“妈妈生,外婆养,爸爸回家就上网,外公天天菜市场。”这个一度成为网络热门段子的顺口溜,反映的正是时下最常见的问题——年轻父母忙于工作,抚养孩子的重担不可避免地落在祖辈的肩上。这种由祖辈们抚养与教育孙儿的现象就称之为隔代教育。

在很多人眼中,隔代教育就是“宠溺”、“无原则”的代表。有了祖辈的保护伞,宝宝们总会提出“放肆”的要求,渐渐形成娇气、霸道、自私的性格。也有人说,祖辈事事包办的教育方式容易培养出孩子较强的依赖性,遇到事情只会等别人解决。在《周末父母》中还有一个细节,表姐茱迪的母亲就给孩子讲情感故事,影响孩子的认知,容易形成早熟的问题。

复旦大学心理健康教育中心咨询师李淑臻认为,祖辈育儿无疑是出于对孩子深深的爱,确实可以将父母从工作与育儿的两难抉择中解放出来,专心工作,为家里提供经济基础,但隔代育儿往往导致祖辈将补偿的意愿不自觉地投射给孙辈,造成溺爱。“孩子的成长就像树木修枝条,定下规矩、明确界限是必须的,祖辈一味纵容反而容易使孩子将来走上歧途。”

然而,隔代教育也有明显的优势。

祖父母和外祖父母都有过养育子女的经历,积累了丰富的经验。由祖辈照看孙辈,确有许多优点:一是有利于解除孩子父母外出打工的后顾之忧;二是祖辈在抚养和教育宝宝方面有着丰富的实践经验,他们对宝宝各阶段的发展特点也了解得更准确,可以大大减少幼儿养育过程中的人为失误,有利于幼儿的身心发育和身体健康;三是“隔代教育”对祖辈们自身也有利,它不仅可以缓解老人的孤寂,为晚年生活增添乐趣,对老人的身心健康也大有裨益。此外,祖辈们一般更有耐心,他们也更能静下心来倾听宝宝的心声,与宝宝有更多的交流,从而更好地了解并满足宝宝的需求。

生活中,隔代亲是常态。老人可利用各自的潜能,发挥各自的经验优势,弥补孩子父母在养育孩子方面的经验不足。既然生活中隔代教育不可避免,专家认为,最好的方法就是扬长避短,两代人在教育孩子上出现分歧,年轻父母应该主动地、以积极的态度化解两代人的育儿冲突,两代人形成合力,最终使孩子受益。


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