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大学住宿的时候,凌晨两点半收到一条短信

2017-06-26 09:22:41   

我儿子前天考试,回来后跟老婆说他考了九十九分,这下把老婆高兴坏了。可是谁知拿出试卷一看:1分!!!老婆刚要发火,突然听到儿子一声大叫:不好,妈妈,我的分数九九归一了!

昨天在北环开车,发现前面有只活鸡挡道了,我减速避开了,然后从后视镜看,后面的车也减速,然后开车门把鸡抓起来了。。。

连续丟了两次钱包。。。连续去同一家银行同一个柜台同一个人在几天里连续帮我补办卡,不说了。美女你听我给你解释。我这次来还是补办卡的。真没别的意思。。。

那天在海边玩。我拿着个小桶装满水,偷偷的绕到女友背后,一下全给她泼身上了。女友走过来说:“讨厌死了,水凉,快抱抱我。”我心里甜甜的,脸上微笑着伸出双手……结果这货抓住我的手就把我扔海里了……自己一个人回娘家了……

相亲的女孩上洗手间了。媒婆趁机告诉男孩:“你要主动一点,没有话说也要找话说。”男孩点点头。女孩回来后,男孩马上说:“你想减肥吗?我们那里有个减肥中心,我和老板熟,可以给你打五折。”

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