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其次,专属于抑郁症的一个特点,是快感阻断。当发展到重度阶段,属于人类的所有快乐,各种欲望,统统消失了。患者每天情绪极度低落,觉得做任何事情都毫无意义。对于他,人生变成了痛苦的炼狱。为什么会这样?原因很简单,大脑的器质性病变切断了他欲望的通道。
另外,与快感缺失相关的另一个特征是绝望,这是抑郁症患者的又一共性。自我评价无限降低、自责、自罪,患者普遍觉得未来一片灰暗,看不到任何希望。痛苦和巨大的无价值感,足以吞噬他的一切。我认识一位患者,仅仅是疾病早期,就萌生严重的不祥念头。她告诉我,在家里,看到儿子穿着新衣服活蹦乱跳,心里就非常酸楚:“妈妈明年这个时候就看不到你这样快乐了。”上述抑郁症患者的躯体疼痛、快感缺失、悲观绝望,还不是最可怕的。
最可怕的,是情感的丧失。当病程再发展到一定程度,患者会变得麻木、呆滞。抑郁症的一个基本的表现,就是患者不再能体验情感和生活的美丽。世界上的一切,喜怒哀乐、爱恨情仇,都与他无关。亲人朋友近在咫尺,他却远在天涯。他不但丧失了快乐、希望,最后还丧失了爱的能力、审美的能力。这个时候,人就成了一具躯壳,成了行尸走肉。
记得曾经看过一部电影,《画皮2》。这部电影我并不喜欢,我觉得它有些矫揉造作。但是,电影有一个情节震撼了我。
电影中,雀儿对小唯抱怨说,“做人有什么好?还不如做妖快乐!”小唯突然发怒,一连串地质问:“你懂什么?你有过人的体温吗?你有过心跳吗?你闻过花香吗?你看得出天空的颜色吗?你流过眼泪吗?世上有人爱你情愿为你去死吗?”这一瞬间,我如同遭遇雷击,醍醐灌顶。
得了抑郁症,为什么会想自杀
想象一下吧,一个人,如果身体承受着深重的苦难和折磨,一天中没有一时一刻感到快乐,对未来完全绝望,又无法感知亲情、友情,以及色彩、阳光、美和爱,这个世界就不是人的世界,对他还有什么意义?
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