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“二孩时代”的纠结:38岁妈妈想生 女儿称好尴尬

2015-11-20 09:06:18   中国新闻网

有些家长认为孩子需要陪伴。广州日报记者 陈忧子 摄
很多家庭都在为要不要生二孩而纠结不已。 广州日报记者 陈忧子 摄

二孩时代”透视

11月13日上午11时30分,今年38岁的张妍走出广州医科大学附属第三医院的大门时,长吁了一口气。嗯,终于可以做出决定了。她瞥了一眼跟她并肩而行的丈夫,笑道:有人不开心了。她的丈夫胡丹情绪明显有些低落,回答道:不生就不生呗。

张妍说,近半个月以来,二孩,已经成为她和丈夫日常交谈的关键词。每一次大家庭聚会,也是三句话不离“生不生二孩”的话题。如今,所有的纠结,终于可以因为一个“很难怀孕”的诊断而画上句号。

在张妍的考量天秤上,一边是自己和家人对二孩的渴望,一边是对自己生育力、女儿心理接受程度、家庭经济承受能力、家庭规划变化、自己职业规划的种种担忧。“有一千个想再生一个的理由,也有一千个不想再生一个的理由。”她说。

显然,张妍的纠结,其实也是一个家庭的纠结。有着这种种纠结的,也绝对不止张妍一个人。

统筹/广州日报记者黄蓉芳

文/广州日报记者黄蓉芳、罗桦琳、伍仞、刘晓星通讯员周伟(署名除外)

二孩憧憬:

想再体验一次养孩子的过程

张妍至今仍记得被朋友圈刷屏的那个10月29日。那天是星期四,她回家一推开门,首先跃入眼帘的就是餐桌上的红色玫瑰花。在她的记忆里,已经搜不到丈夫上次送她花是什么时候了。

然后,就像电视剧里经常出现的桥段,她的丈夫从厨房里出来,端着热气腾腾的菜,满脸的笑容,声音里透着兴奋和讨好:“老婆,我们可以生个儿子啦!”

一个小时后,张妍的婆婆打来了电话。两个平时并不亲密的女人,心照不宣地热络了许多。最后,婆婆说,你一定要生哦。张妍说,一定生!一定生!

张妍说,她是真的想生。

对于张妍而言,养育女儿的过程十分美好。今年14岁的女儿,乖巧可爱,长得漂亮,还是一个小学霸。“那种陪伴一个小生命逐渐强大、丰盈的感觉很奇妙,我自己也在慢慢成长。”她说,这是她想再生一个孩子最原始的动力。“我丈夫和婆婆可能更希望我能生个儿子,但我不一样,我就是想再体验一次养育孩子的美好过程。”

张妍想再生一个,还有一个现实的考虑。那就是让女儿长大以后有个心理上的亲情支撑。她总觉得独生子女太孤单。“虽然她现在可能不会需要一个比她小14岁的弟弟或妹妹做玩伴。”她说,“但是,血毕竟浓于水,等有一天,我们老了,不在了,她除了自己的伴侣,还有一个血脉相连的亲人,遇事至少不会有那种孤立无援的感觉。”

顾及一孩:

女儿能接受吗?生了谁来带?

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