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“零彩礼”为爱情保鲜,有什么比“找到合适的对方”更值钱?

2017-10-13 08:42:53   

“要面子”等观念催生“天价彩礼

记者采访发现,与这场“零彩礼”婚礼形成对比的是,当天附近举行的多场婚礼依然是“传统路线”。不仅如此,在很多地方,结婚高彩礼甚至“天价彩礼”的现象仍频出。

对湖南张家界市的小金来说,这个黄金周可谓“百感交集”。“结婚前10天,因为彩礼问题,差点跟女朋友分手。”小金说,他和对象小玉是高中同学,恋爱时间也不短,合计好在今年国庆期间结婚,但9月24日,两人因彩礼问题差点“谈崩”。

“她家非得要8万块钱,没钱就不嫁,还放出话说不给8万块钱,就没有诚意,好聚好散。”小金家并不富裕,最后实在没办法,只得向老板借了8万元。

彩礼不只是钱的问题。婚后,已成为小金妻子的小玉说,她家之所以非得要8万元,一个原因是周围村民都这样,“大家都是十万八万的,自己家不要这么高,觉得没有面子。”

不止彩礼,鞭炮也是必需的。结婚要比谁家的鞭炮响的声音大,更要比哪家响的时间长。

对这类现象,网友也纷纷“吐槽”。网友“任性的90后微笑每一天”说:“我老家,彩礼十万元。三十万元的楼房必须有,没有就要拿十万元礼金、十万元的车。”

网民“qzuser105136120”则说:“就说我们这吧,前几年是10万元,这两年20万元,不知再过几年是多少?”

“这些年,一些农村地区的彩礼样式在变化,数额也涨了多次。”在安徽某地当了30多年村干部的毛德林说,从改革开放初期的“三转一响”(自行车、手表、缝纫机和收音机),到金银首饰,再到现在动辄数万元的礼金,彩礼数额越来越高,甚至有的家庭将房子、汽车等看成了“彩礼”的标配。

广东粤西山区加益镇的农办主任林光荣认为,“高价彩礼”以及结婚过于铺张、奢侈现象,对于农村社会风气是个不好的导向,容易歪曲婚姻关系,某种程度上影响双方的感情。此外,这也容易形成攀比心理,甚至对生育观念产生一些不良影响。

对“天价彩礼”说不,还需综合发力

“铺排场、讲面子,让一些婚礼已经变味了。”中国人民大学法学院教授刘俊海认为,“高彩礼”甚至“天价彩礼”背离了传统美德,也背离了爱情,背离了婚姻的实质。

也有专家表示,“天价彩礼”和社会基础、民众的生活状态相关,是在一定的经济基础上的现实反映。广东省人民政府文史研究馆馆员陈劲佟表示,某种程度上看,这种行为是社会资源分配的一种方式,在某个阶段某个区域范围内有一定客观性,反映了现实问题。

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