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二娃谁来带 隔代抚养未必不好

2017-09-18 09:21:41   央广网

家庭挚爱亲人贴近照顾抚养孩子,起码有助于培养孩子的亲情观念,孩子会更早懂得感恩。让孩子适应社会,就先从适应他们的爷爷奶奶、外公外婆和父母开始。过度担忧孩子早期家庭教育失败,就家长来讲,其实是担忧孩子会输在起跑线上,而究竟怎样评定孩子人生的输赢,似乎没有定论,而且为时尚早。

近日,“谁来帮我带二孩”的相关话题在网络引起不少讨论。网络上类似“帮独生女儿三年带两娃,老妈累出抑郁症”“女子辞职回家带娃被累瘫”“二孩谁带问题引家庭内战”等相关新闻频现。二胎来了,到底该由谁来带娃?(新华社)

二胎来了,到底谁来带娃的问题,既已成为一个家庭的困扰,更成为整个社会需要面对的现实难题。而调查所显示的一个不争的事实是,当前六成老人在给子女帮忙带孩子,构成了“隔代抚养”。这不仅是带二娃,大娃出生时,也是这种情形。这里,显然不能说带孩子的压力都转嫁给了夫妻双方父母,而是当前夫妻双方必须钉在社会岗位上,承担着最实实在在的创业压力,抑或是赚钱养家的压力,不能有岗位脱离。长辈带孩子,也同样是一种牺牲,其中不过是基于年轻夫妻带孩子的利弊权衡。

有一点要提及的是,目前“月嫂”产业前景大好。但是,“月嫂模式”显然不是后续带孩子的最优选,即不是长久之计。因为“月嫂服务”是过于奢华的,相对于一般家庭来讲,经济上有不可承受之重。

所以,还是不要轻易绕开“隔代抚养”的情形为好。尽管其中牵涉多种矛盾或问题,但是,一味强调年轻夫妻带孩子有益于增强孩子社会适应力,不会溺爱孩子,不会让孩子有认知畸形、个性缺陷,也涉嫌片面。并非所有祖辈都溺爱孙辈。一定意义上,年轻夫妻在人生观等价值理念上,或许也是需要教育、需要修正的。

家庭挚爱亲人贴近照顾抚养孩子,起码有助于培养孩子的亲情观念,孩子会更早懂得感恩。让孩子适应社会,就先从适应他们的爷爷奶奶、外公外婆和父母开始。过度担忧孩子早期家庭教育失败,就家长来讲,其实是担忧孩子会输在起跑线上,而究竟怎样评定孩子人生的输赢,似乎没有定论,而且为时尚早,这毕竟是一个长期的过程。就社会来讲,则是纠结一个孩子从小就不懂、不守规则,会给他人及社会造成危害,比如孩子会长成“熊孩子”、会犯罪等,这未免有点杞人忧天。对于孩子的成长,我们实在需要多给一些祝福和赞美。难道不是吗?

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