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七夕节,谁的眼泪谁的浪漫

2017-08-29 04:21:08   中国青年网

个人情感的痛点有一天可能会升级为社会治理的痛点,当与此有关的社会问题集中爆发的时候,我们就会感受到,这一天不是浪漫,而是眼泪

□ 叶 泉

自古以来,商业冲动都是社会流行与时尚背后最大的推手。随着情人节经济的大热,商家大概觉得一个西方的情人节是不够赚的,又翻出古老的牛郎织女的故事,制造出了一个中式情人节。可这总是有点跟风附庸的感觉。就像出门旅游,每到一个景点导游都要兴致勃勃地给你翻讲一个老掉牙的爱情故事,听一个和听一百个似乎没什么区别。

既然现在的社会文化,特别是每天爱不够的年轻人,已经接受了中式情人节的概念,那我们不妨也就聊聊这个节日。七夕这一天,商家希望情人们都买买买,戒指鲜花糖果,甜蜜到死。可创造出这一天的真正主角却没这么浪漫,他们是要用眼泪来纪念这个日子的。老人们都说,七夕之夜一定会下雨,因为雨是牛郎和织女的眼泪。虽然诗人秦观以其独有的乐观主义精神把这一天烘托得“柔情似水,佳期如梦”“一相逢便胜却人间无数”,但依然无法改变这个故事的悲剧色彩。你纵然可以把分别美化成下一次相逢,但也不妨碍别人把相逢当作分别的开始。

相爱的人不能相守从古至今都是悲剧,只是在交通与通讯都如此发达的今天,这种分离的悲情感尤其强烈。所以在这一天,我们更需要关注那些当代的牛郎织女。

在城市化的今天,在庞大的城市外来务工人员群体中,多数夫妻处于分居状态,他们成了当代的牛郎织女。关注他们的感情生活及每个家庭的健康与稳定,无疑是维系整个社会和谐稳定的一部分。据中新网报道,8月27日,今年七夕节的前一天,苏州从事建筑工作的中建三局华东公司苏州湾文化中心项目上的8位工人在项目部的安排下,与他们的妻子在工地上团聚了。项目部的负责人说:“目前项目上共有六百多名工友,他们承担了最辛苦的工作,许多人却只能在每年春节返乡,见到爱人的时间很少。七夕快到了,我们想扮演一次‘喜鹊’,帮助他们相会。”

这种鹊桥相会的温情场景实属难得。但600多人中只有8人在这一天与妻子相会,大多数人还是没有这个机会,分离对他们来说是一种生活的常态。这种分离首先带来感情的压抑,感情压抑可能进而引发感情破裂、出轨、离婚并导致家庭不稳定,也会在客观上导致卖淫、嫖娼等违法行为的发生。同时,夫妻分离也是当前留守妇女、留守儿童等热点社会问题的根源,而这些问题无疑给社会治理带来了巨大压力。

就像一只蝴蝶扇动翅膀会引发海啸一样,一个人的感情问题虽然个性化,但当它聚合成普遍现象,就成为一个不可忽视的社会问题。中国有多少留守妇女就有多少分离的夫妻,有多少留守儿童就有多少不幸的家庭。每年的两会上,留守妇女、儿童问题都会成为代表委员热议的焦点。这些年来,各地政府也开始关注这个现象,并主动给予她们帮助和扶持。但真正要解决问题,还是要让夫妻团聚、家庭圆满,让牛郎织女们享受正常的家庭生活。

当代牛郎织女现象的根源是经济发展不平衡,很多人必须离开家庭,外出打工。显然经济发展不平衡不可能在短时间内解决,但能在短期内解决的是用人单位增加和延长探亲假,或者给夫妻分居的职工创造更多团聚的机会和条件,减少分居带来的家庭矛盾。

七夕节,与其说是中式情人节,不如说是在当前中国社会治理的大语境下,关注国内外出务工人员因夫妻分居引发社会矛盾与问题的一个时间节点。可能一些人此前并没有意识到,个人情感的痛点有一天可能会升级为社会治理的痛点,当与此有关的社会问题集中爆发的时候,我们就会感受到,这一天不是浪漫,而是眼泪。

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