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海外学子异地恋爱经

2017-08-28 03:16:43   中国青年网

杨梦瑶(右)认为,爱一个人不代表要用自己的意志去影响对方的选择。爱应该是默默付出,既能感受到对方的好,也知道如何回馈。

“七夕”又至,传说中牛郎与织女这对恋人一年只能在这一天相会一次。对海外学子而言,他们中有的人的恋人在国内,处于异地恋中的情侣们因为假期不同以及相隔太远的原因,很可能一年也难见一面。即便如此,仍然有一些情侣,克服距离的阻隔,维持着健康稳定的感情。

最真的爱是相互促进

大多数处于异地恋的海外学子与恋人在学子出国前已经建立了比较稳定的恋爱关系。由于对发展路径的规划不同,一方留学海外,另一方留在国内深造或者工作。

杨梦瑶目前在英国伦敦大学学院攻读国际公共政策专业。她与男友刘华智在国内读本科时相识。本科毕业时,男友决定在国内继续读研,而杨梦瑶收到了伦敦大学学院的录取通知书。“决定出国时,我并没有感受到来自男友的压力,因为他很支持我来国外求学实现自己的学术理想,并且在行动和精神上给予我很多帮助。他的尊重让我觉得很贴心。”她说,“虽然因为我求学国外我们要暂时分开1年,但我们都在努力提升自己,争取再见时能变成更好的人。我努力在国外读书,他也努力在国内深造。同时,我们也在努力丰富着自己的生活,前几天他还告诉我最近在学做菜呢。因为很希望再次相见时能让对方刮目相看,因此对我来说恋爱是提升自己的动力之一。”目前,两个人在忙碌之余也会互相鼓劲,在各自的生活里实现自我提升。

最真的爱应该是相互促进而不是相互消耗。出国求学与异地恋爱也可兼顾。尊重对方的选择,并与恋人为了未来共同努力,这样的感情才更健康、更稳定。

理解是感情的黏合剂

对任何一段感情来说,理解都是黏合剂。当距离、时差以及不同的环境使得一对恋人产生生活习惯及思维方式的不同时,相互理解就更为重要。

将心比心与换位思考非常重要。李刘煦从英国伦敦政治经济学院毕业回国后,与相恋4年的女友刘可欣结婚了。回顾在英国1年多的求学时光以及与妻子曾经历的异国恋,他感慨颇多。李刘煦说:“中国时间比英国大约快7个小时。刚到英国时,一到傍晚我就会觉得很孤单,很想和可欣说说话。可是英国晚上8时的时候,国内已经是凌晨了。”他知道女友在国内上学也很辛苦,不想打扰她休息。而刘可欣也很理解男友的心情,于是她想了一个办法,把自己想对男友说的话录成视频,设置定时邮件,于是李刘煦在傍晚就能用这样的方式获得女友的陪伴了。这让他又温暖又感动,对他来说,女友贴心的举动成了他继续努力的动力。

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