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母亲的独节柜

2017-08-18 08:37:04   中国青年网

独节柜是姥姥送给母亲的结婚陪嫁物。母亲彼时对此不以为然,年轻的她甚至还嫌弃独节柜的简单和丑陋,姥姥没因母亲的态度而改变主意,而是语重心长告诉母亲,带上它吧,会对你有用的。

姥姥这话不是经典,但在母亲婚后却成为真言。那时我家很穷,除了两只简陋的木箱,再找不出一件像样的家具,这只独节柜一进门就显得鹤立鸡群。最初家里人口少,只有爷爷和父亲,爷爷还双目失明。婚后第二天,父亲就把几把钥匙,包括特意为独节柜配制的,都交给了母亲。

自那一刻起,母亲从爱情的浪漫中走入婚姻的现实里,所面对的不再是花前月下,而是柴米油盐。母亲从第一次使用独节柜,到后来每天都一遍或数遍地开启,都一遍或数遍地与之肌肤相亲,让它成了家中为数不多贵重物品和金钱的藏处。现实让母亲不得不承认姥姥的先见之明,这只独节柜果然派上了用场,在母亲的世界里和我家的生活中扮演着重要角色。

而且时日越久,这只独节柜愈沉实。母亲不断地从那里面往外拿东西,或者往那里面放东西,反反复复的循环让母亲时而笑逐颜开,时而眉头微皱,时而平静如常。物质的富有和贫乏,经济的宽裕和拮据,交替书写着母亲的表情。在欢乐、痛苦或平和的心境中,母亲牵手日子和独节柜慢慢行走,从一个少妇变成一个主妇,从一头黑丝变成苍苍白发,从初经世事变成饱经沧桑。

我家的生活模式很传统,典型的男主外女主内。父亲天南地北成年奔波劳碌,或长或短一段时间,会从或远或近的地方赶回家,把挣到的钱送回来,让母亲放进那只独节柜。

那时我们特别想念父亲,除了血缘关系,除了父子或父女的亲情,还因为那只独节柜。我家兄弟姐妹六人,经济条件拮据,那年代物质又匮乏,家里好吃的食物基本被母亲放进独节柜,每次父亲回来都会取出些来吃。而父亲自然不会独自咽下,我们就借光打打牙祭。儿时最喜欢做的事情之一,就是看母亲从独节柜往外拿好吃的食物,感觉是那样的温暖、幸福和甜蜜。

而且母亲这习惯一直延续下来,父亲去后也没改变。只不过,母亲等候的对象成了我和我的兄弟姐妹,到后来,又变成我们兄弟姐妹的儿女。

当我也有了下一代,更是情不自禁想那只独节柜。那时开始感知,母亲的独节柜早已不再是母亲的,它还属于我的父亲,我们兄弟姐妹,我们兄弟姐妹的孩子,我们这个家族,还属于一段岁月或一个时代。

那只独节柜是榆木的,暗紫中带着光泽。虽无半点褪色,也一直容颜不改,不过时间终究让它显出了苍老。去年春节,姐姐和哥哥跟母亲商议,要把独节柜换成现代家具,但母亲毫不犹豫地拒绝了,强调这是姥姥留给她的念想。但我知道原因比这复杂,经过生活的打磨,独节柜已经成为母亲记忆深处一道美丽的风景。

其实,独节柜何尝不是我们记忆中的风景,与母亲的差异只是可能失去传承。无论这是儿女的错误,或者因时代的选择,抑或为历史的必然,独节柜都将化作一种精神而长存。

(作者单位:辽宁省凌源市人民检察院)

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