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放飞孩子家长得了“分离焦虑”

2017-08-09 15:11:49   中国青年网

漫长的暑假生活,不少家长为孩子们安排了丰富多彩的夏令营、游学营等活动,希望能借此机会培养他们的独立生活能力以及团队合作意识。家长们本以为这对首次外出住宿的孩子们会是一个巨大挑战,没想到真正接受考验和煎熬的却是自己。

这个暑假,奇奇妈妈为儿子报了一个14天封闭式的围棋夏令营。这是奇奇第一次离家,奇奇妈妈做好了接听儿子哭诉电话的准备,没想到的是,儿子沉浸在早8点半到晚9点的高强度训练中乐此不疲,晚上回到宿舍常常忘了给家里打电话。倒是自己,在把孩子送出去的第一天晚上就辗转反侧失眠了。奇奇妈妈的“分离焦虑”不是个例,在夏令营家长群里,家长们的担心是五花八门:睡觉会不会从上铺掉下来、晚上会不会踢被子、上课时会不会忘了喝水……还有的家长跟孩子通完话就掉了眼泪,发到群里引发其他妈妈也落下想念的泪水。

除了夏令营,还有家长在暑假把孩子送回了老家,本以为可以好好喘口气,没想到“多年来第一次有了整整一周的空闲时间,反而不知道怎么安排了”。小菲对此感同身受,为了让孩子感受自己儿时的乡村野趣,她把上幼儿园的孩子送回了老家,本想着可以好好放松下,没想到孩子不在的期间,她对自己每天下班之后的去向都开始变得惶恐起来。太多的待办事项在大块空闲面前,反而让她有些无所适从,倒不如之前在连轴转的缝隙中逐一击破更加高效。

北京市中小学心理咨询中心主任温方表示,从前来咨询的家长案例来看,家长的“分离焦虑”一般分为以下几种心态:有的是平时爱护过度,孩子的偶然离开造成家长心理失落;有的是觉得孩子太笨,担心在外面会受欺负;还有的家长是自身心理健康水平有待提升。温方曾接待过一位单亲妈妈,这位母亲平时把孩子送进校园之后,还要在门口多站半个多小时。“这样的家长就要正视自己的问题,不能把孩子当作自己人生的全部。”

温方建议,孩子早晚要长大,迟早要进入社会,家长应该借助这样的机会练习告别,学会放手。

本报记者 牛伟坤 J191

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