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爱到极致 要学会放手

2017-08-05 04:34:43   中国青年网

琼瑶在记者会上。

在为介绍这本书事先录制的一段视频中,琼瑶说,“这是一本提倡‘善终权’的书,是一对老夫老妻面对生命衰老、失智、插管、死亡的问题。我也是第一次把我们之间真正的东西拿出来,比如把平鑫涛写给我的信拿出来,以前我从来没有把他写给我的信公开,但是现在我觉得我要让你们知道,我不是在写小说,这是一个真实的故事。”

在这部被琼瑶自认为是她“生命中最重要的一本书里”,她写出了丈夫平鑫涛从患病到插管再到失智、卧床不起的过程,也追忆了他们共同生活中的美好时光。在记者会上谈到丈夫的病情时,79岁的琼瑶两度情绪激动落泪,她说我们相爱50年,“到最后我要面对一个失智的人,每一天不同的变化我都要面对。他忘了,而我不能忘,几度我都要崩溃。我需要帮助,但也没人能帮助我。这一路走来,最后他大中风,医生判定他不会再醒来,已经不在我们这个世界了。他不愿意插管,不愿意接受加工的生命,可是他的儿女们不同意。”

琼瑶在记者会上谈到她与平鑫涛两人曾聊到生死的问题:“我很早就跟鑫涛说,你比我大11岁,可能你会走在我前面,我不认为你走了我还能够单独活下去”。琼瑶当时曾问平鑫涛:“你认为什么时候活够了,我配合你,到那个时间点我们一起到山明水秀、很美的地方自我安乐死,这样不是很美、很浪漫吗?但平鑫涛却不同意。”琼瑶说,后来她一直求平鑫涛订个日子,于是他们就定在了琼瑶75岁、平鑫涛86岁的时候。然而到了相约的日子,平鑫涛竟早就忘了。琼瑶问道,我们有个约定,你忘了吧?平鑫涛这才认真地跟她谈起生死,他对琼瑶说,:“人加工自杀是错误的,加工活着也是错误的。人自然而生,也要自然而死;生于自然,也要死于自然。以前我答应你的是糊弄你的。自然的生、自然的死,这才是生命的本质。”

“这么相爱的老夫妻其实并不好,因为总有一个要先走,剩下的一个怎么办?爱到极致,一定要学会放手。”琼瑶说:“放手不等于放弃,他如果能救,我们一定救他,因为我们爱他。这是他人生的最后一站,我一定要让他快乐,我们现在不论做什么事情,都是为了他能快乐而终。”琼瑶说:“我们没有死亡教育,这太悲哀了。我自己也是面对到了我才来学习。什么是爱,因为你爱他,你才会希望他善终。”

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