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开心一刻:一架飞机上有4个人,飞到一半没油了,然后……

2017-06-19 08:17:13   

1、我们村吴老三在城里做地产商发了,回老家探亲竟然带个两个保镖;刘老四在城里开了几家KTV,回家的时候,也带了几个保镖;我也是在城里做生意的人,这次回家,我也雇了五六个保镖壮声势,老姐看到这阵势简直惊呆了,握着我的手说:“我说兄弟呀,这年头在城里卖糖葫芦也要雇保镖吗,你一天得卖多少串糖葫芦才够他们的工资呀!”

2、小A:明天就是父亲节了,你给你爸买礼物礼物了吗?

小B:早买好了

小A:哇,好孝顺。买的啥。

小B:我用一百块买了三件衣服,分别在生日、父亲节和过年时送给他。。。

来一杯82年的六神

3、当年,和她赌气分手,昨天她出嫁,我偷偷的开车混在迎亲的车队后面,没开多远,收到她短信:“你不是说这辈子都不想见我吗,为什么要跟在车队后面?”

我回复:“你怎么知道我在车队后面,原来你这么关注我呀?”

不一会收到她回复:“哥呀,不是我关注你,是你的拖拉机声音太大!”

我:“……”

4、何四与邻居发生争执,何四便粗鲁地骂对方:“你是猪!”此事被居民小区治安员知道了,于是要罚何四30元款。

何四接过罚单,很不服气:“上个月我也是骂他是猪,你只罚了我20元嘛。”

“很抱歉,”治安员苦笑一声,“近段猪肉涨价了。”

5、在一个企业俱乐部的舞会上,有一个职员逗他偶遇的舞伴开心说:“你瞧一瞧那个老傻瓜,他就是我们的经理,我在一生中没有看见过像他这样的白痴。”

“您知道我是谁吗?我就是你们经理的妻子。”女的问。

“而你知道我是谁吗?”男的问。

“不知道。”

“啊,这就谢天谢地啦。”

看车展啦

6、有一架飞机上面坐有一美国人一个德国人一个日本人和一个中国人,飞机飞到一半 突然没油了,机长宣布必须有一人跳机以减轻重量,于是那美国人就发挥其个人英雄主义精神走到飞机舱口高呼一声:美利坚和众国万岁!!然后就跳下去了!飞机 继续飞.....这时机长又宣布:重量还是太重了,还的跳下去一个人!于是德国人就站出来,走到飞机舱口,高呼一声:德意志帝国万岁!也跟着跳了下去!飞机继续飞..... 这时机长又宣布说:不行,还是重了,必须再跳下去一个人!中国人看了日本人一眼,站起来走到了飞机舱口,日本人赶紧走过来紧紧握住中国人的手:好兄弟,我不会忘了你的!中国人高呼一声:中华人民共和国万岁!!接着一脚把日本人给踹下去了!!......

小心火烛呀

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