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近日,有网友爆料自己10岁的女儿已经有了“老公”,在聊天时与对方也有很亲密的语言,家长直呼“懵掉”。对此,来自北京市中小学心理咨询中心的主任温方表示,作为家长,碰到这样的情况不需要大惊小怪,要学会准确辨别孩子的情感状态,学会“热点问题冷处理”。
“家长一听到这个称呼就慌了,其实未必是家长想象的那种关系。”温方介绍说,孩子在这么小的年纪就有了“老公”、“老婆”,有时只是对父母亲密相处模式的机械模仿。这种“情侣”关系在同性之间的存在甚至也很普遍。有一次温方去一所小学参加活动,听到有人对着一个女生大喊“你老公在里面等你呢”,温方站住一看,发现被称为“老公”的人也是一个女孩儿。难道小学校园里就有了同性恋?叫到跟前一问才得知,原来是两个人关系要好,便商量好生日大的做了“老公”,生日小的做了“老婆”。温方建议,如果孩子出现了这种情况,作为家长要反思下是不是家里的环境没有满足孩子的情感需求,要注重在家里给孩子营造幸福感和安全感。
另外,也会有学生出于好面子的心理,去争当别人“老公”、“老婆”,害怕自己落单或者以此显示自己的好人缘。
在温方看来,如果孩子出现与异性或者同性有亲密称呼的情况,家长不要大惊小怪,免得引起孩子警觉让“小事变大”;但是也要认真辨别是属于哪种情形,对症下药。此外,家长要及早对孩子进行性教育,这种教育必须系统而全面,不能似是而非模棱两可,欲言又止躲躲藏藏反而会更加激发孩子的好奇心,引起不恰当探索。在平时生活中,家长也要规范自己的称谓,“见人就称‘亲爱的’,可能会让孩子在心目中模糊了人与人之间的界限。”
记者牛伟坤
责任编辑:都基强 CN065
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